A Catholic perspective on current events

The useless friend

A useless friendship is one in which neither person needs the other, yet they choose to be friends anyway. The most precious friendships are those in which you seek nothing, yet they are there.

Miriam Lafuente

December 2, 2025

the useless friend

It was nighttime, autumn was beginning, and it was cool. I was driving my daughter to dance class and was passing through a rather deserted rural area. At a traffic light where I had to stop, there was a car parked very close to me on the side of the road—more than parked, I would say “badly parked.” Its owner, a young man with long, unkempt hair tied back in a low ponytail, looked distressed. I asked him if he needed help and he said no, thanking me. I commented to my daughter as I drove that it must be awful to find yourself stranded on the road. 

I dropped my daughter off at dance class. An hour later, when I saw him again in the same place, the boy was sitting on the curb with a friend, waiting for the tow truck. I felt, with those vibrations that touch our hearts so authentically when we see certain scenes in life, that they were friends. I realized that this boy had asked his friend for help when he found himself in trouble. I even imagined the conversation on the cell phone: «Hey man, come to such-and-such place, I'm stuck here.». The two had great chemistry, talking, laughing, and joking, making the wait for the tow truck bearable. 

The scruffy, long-haired boy was less stressed than before; he wasn't solving the problem alone. How wonderful and important it is to have true friends, even if they are useless friends. 

A useless friendship is one in which neither person needs the other, yet they choose to be friends anyway. The most precious friendships are those in which you don't seek anything, but they are there nonetheless. A useful friendship, on the other hand, is one in which you get something out of your friend, for example at work. A useful friend is one who, when you're down and out, you can't call because you think you'll bother them.

We all have useful and useless friends, but we know how to tell them apart. I think we have more useful ones than useless ones. There's a popular saying that goes, "You can count your true friends on one hand," and it's those friends we turn to when we're down and out.

A useless friend is someone we know we won't bother or annoy with our problems. A useless friend doesn't judge us, gives us their time, and makes us feel secure, like we truly are loved. 

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