Don't get married young

At first, when my husband and I got engaged at the age of 23, I was busy explaining what I thought was necessary because I was young. However, it didn't take long for me to move from reasoning to "we got married because we felt like it".

Picture of Paloma López Campos

January 12, 2025

2 min read
Marriage

(Unsplash / Denny Muller)

Getting married is a hassle. But if you are young, it is even more so. Apart from the normal stress and conversations that a wedding generates, if you are young you can prepare yourself for the comments that people say "for your own good".

From the "you're going to miss the best years of your life" to the "have you thought it through?", or even the "if it goes wrong, you can always leave". It's amazing the amount of unbidden opinions people pour out when you tell them you're getting married.

In the beginning, when my husband and I got engaged (we were both 23 years old) and people started saying these wonderful phrases to us, I would try to explain. I reasoned with them the reasons why we decided to take the plunge. However, it didn't take long for me to go from reasoning to "we got married because we felt like it," without commenting further. What need is there for me to justify my marriage to anyone?

"You have to understand that if you are young people are going to be surprised." Maricarmen, the problem with people is that some people have a hard time understanding that not all of us buy the talk about waiting until late so that your family life doesn't interrupt your career path.

"Maybe what happens is that you speak and decide from a privileged position." Maybe. Privilege that I was slapped in time to reorder my scale of values before the time comes to repent.

"So whoever marries at a certain age has made a mistake?". I don't know, ma'am. Let go of my arm. I only know that I'm getting married because I feel like it.

The reality is that in this age of social networks we have become accustomed to commenting on people's lives as if our existence were taking place in a public forum. It is becoming common to treat young people as naive. That we are, but blessed and shameless youthwhich the elders also went through, by the way.

It is true that there are many people giving their opinion and telling you not to marry young. There are also those who give their approval to your marriage, as long as you make sure that the next big crazy thing is not crossing your mind: having children. But that's another matter.

Of all the voices around us, I am left with the opinion of St. Augustine. With love and with head, don't marry young if you don't want to or can't. Unless you feel like it and see with a sincere heart that you can take the step. Unless you feel like it and see with a sincere heart that you can take the step. Then yes, "love and do what you want".

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